blog devastation

Why did I do it.

Why did I�tell him that I�might hurt him.

Whoapos;s heart was I really trying to protect, his or mine?


Iapos;m starting to think it was the latter.

Maybe I hurt people so they canapos;t hurt me.




And who the fuck am I to think he wasnapos;t good enough. Who the fuck do I think I am.


I realized something. This isnapos;t just this one boy, this one situation.

I�will never be as good as his last.

I will never be as good as ANYONEapos;S last.

Iapos;m too old to be as inexperienced as I�am.

Iapos;ve passed this point and now anyone I meet is going to be used goods.

Not used in a bad way. Theyapos;ve been tried on, theyapos;ve been worn around.

Theyapos;ve been loved.

Now Iapos;m the minority. I canapos;t be the girl you date after youapos;ve been in love. It wouldnapos;t last for a second. I canapos;t compare.

I can only be the springboard, the girl you date before you finally find the right person.

And I sure as hell canapos;t be the right person.


I suddenly want to take back everything Iapos;ve said. I�want to go back a few hours before, before all the stupid things that I wrote.

Now Iapos;m feeling desparate. Oh please. Please forgive me.

I canapos;t love you and you wonapos;t love me like you loved her.


But Iapos;ll never find anyone whoapos;s willing to ignore that.


Iapos;ll never fall in love.

Iapos;ll just be the mistake that made you realize what love really is.


Let me be that mistake.




This is regret.

blog devastation, blog devalue, blog devaluation, blog deutschmark.