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So cheeky, I know.

Today didnapos;t start off so well. First, my microwave ceased to function while I was reheating waffles. Then, my new favorite thrift store lamp wouldnapos;t turn on. Everything was breaking. But then I put two and two together and checked out my other kitchen appliances and saw none of them were sporting their "on" lights. So I flipped a breaker and reset my kitchen/morning. Voila.

I got a tattoo. Finally. Iapos;d been putting it off for the sake of fiscal responsibility. Anyway, itapos;s a purple and black cartoon bat on my right forearm, near my wrist. I love it. I plan to collect some more when I acquire extra dinero.

I fell out of love with Benicio Del Torro. He spoke fondly of a historical figure who sent people to concentration camps, labor camps, personally performed executions in the streets, and was an all-around sniveling coward. No, no, not Hitler. You know.

Tegan and Sarah continueously threaten to turn me gay. Ok, not really. Thatapos;s about 2.3 true. If there was only one of them, it would be like 0.3 true. Somehow the identical twin thing ups it 2. This stream of consciousness needs to go ahead and end right about...now.

If my taxes start funding abortions, I think Iapos;m going to start swinging. Itapos;s actually very possible in the near future. Oh, and remember that procedure where a baby is pulled most of the way out of the womb with forceps and scissors are jammed until the base of the skull and the brains are sucked out? Yeh, that could be making a come back soon, as well. My faith in humanity continues to dwindle.

On a much happier note, today is me and Johnapos;s two year anniversary. We celebrated on Saturday by eating lots of raw fish and going thrifting. We still need to think of a halloween costume. Iapos;ve got nothing.

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Went shopping in town today, not shop actually.. More like window-shopping.�

Surprisingly, i met Linda or Catherine from Raffles today My former classmate cum great pal, she havenapos;t changed abit haha. Didnapos;t actually know that she was there until i felt somebody really starring at me. Talked for awhile, she said my voice changed alot ... Did it? I donapos;t hear no difference baby, haha. Man, i think the both of us were waiting for our mothers Glad that we were able to meet each other again, haha probably the first person from my primary six class to see me this year

I ate alot today, i canapos;t believe it either. My appetite boosting like hell all of a sudden, donapos;t scare me please. Even my dad had to ask me how come you still can eat? Sorry man, i canapos;t help it either. The best was the j.sauce noodles in takashimaya, i usually eat it whenever iapos;m in taka. Haha, i bet iapos;ll have no appetite again tomorrow. -predicts- Damn, i forgot to buy all-time fav. Famous Amos choco-chip cookies D: at Wisma Iapos;m so gonna get it the next time i see it�

Good luck to my bro for Oapos;s tomorrow�


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I�just realised how important it is to plan for the future or maybe just plan for whatever that comes. Thing is I�aint exactly a planner until the last minute :D I guess I�just take in whatever that comes and all. Somehow, I got used to it. Thus, it shaped me into someone who simply waits and refuses to consider the consequences of the situation. >_<

Iapos;m once again dead. Stucked with many many tasks left undone and before I�can think about it, itapos;s already sunday tomorrow�I�hate how fast holidays are brushing past me lately :( Sucky. Bleah.

Just dead�x:
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define eunuch

The next two weeks Iapos;m not coming out of my studying bubble. Well except for some wonderful halloween/birfday parties.
I got a huge test in micro this thurs, + 2 art tests to take by sunday, then net week a micro lab test, an art paper, a history test. Donapos;t you just loe school how magically they all end up on the same 2 days.
I canapos;t wait for halloween to be in sf for it.
Iapos;m at work on my phone diing this, my pts are crazy and Iapos;m not at the psych ward.
newest addictions this week: reading my bible and coffee. Its so werid.
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Today I thought about taking things at face-value.

Generally most people take things at face-value. Sure I do that to sometimes. But what annoys me is when people take what they see and hear to be true immediately with no qualms about it. Particularly so if the issues involved are things or people they do not like. They believe it as it is without second thoughts, without having the decency or should I say courtesy to even verify if things are true or have things been skewed for their consumption.

Wherefore lies gumption?

If you can believe it, you would want to know more. So why not ask the source direct? Wouldnapos;t it be first hand information that way? Wouldnapos;t you then know what you have been wanting to know and you can end your curiosity there and then?

But no.
people thrive not on knowing the truth. They thrive on knowing the scandals, the spectacular. They would rather know more about what could be then what really is/was.

Lifeapos;s more interesting that way maybe.

Iapos;m not saying im completely absolved of being the above-mentioned. But I just donapos;t know what fuck luck I have in this lifetime to actually be plagued by such things over and over again. And Iapos;m not painting myself as someone you should sympathize with. More often than not my problems are all self-created. But right now, I really donapos;t need any of this. Myniife is complicated enough.

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blog devastation

Why did I do it.

Why did I�tell him that I�might hurt him.

Whoapos;s heart was I really trying to protect, his or mine?


Iapos;m starting to think it was the latter.

Maybe I hurt people so they canapos;t hurt me.




And who the fuck am I to think he wasnapos;t good enough. Who the fuck do I think I am.


I realized something. This isnapos;t just this one boy, this one situation.

I�will never be as good as his last.

I will never be as good as ANYONEapos;S last.

Iapos;m too old to be as inexperienced as I�am.

Iapos;ve passed this point and now anyone I meet is going to be used goods.

Not used in a bad way. Theyapos;ve been tried on, theyapos;ve been worn around.

Theyapos;ve been loved.

Now Iapos;m the minority. I canapos;t be the girl you date after youapos;ve been in love. It wouldnapos;t last for a second. I canapos;t compare.

I can only be the springboard, the girl you date before you finally find the right person.

And I sure as hell canapos;t be the right person.


I suddenly want to take back everything Iapos;ve said. I�want to go back a few hours before, before all the stupid things that I wrote.

Now Iapos;m feeling desparate. Oh please. Please forgive me.

I canapos;t love you and you wonapos;t love me like you loved her.


But Iapos;ll never find anyone whoapos;s willing to ignore that.


Iapos;ll never fall in love.

Iapos;ll just be the mistake that made you realize what love really is.


Let me be that mistake.




This is regret.

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Een karaktereigenschap die je hebt of niet. Helaas behoor ik bij de groep met verlegen mensen. In het beste geval een schattige karaktereigenschap, in het slechtste geval een sociale handicap die iemand zodanig kan verhinderen om contacten te leggen met andere mensen dat het kan leiden tot sociaal isolement en zelfs tot depressies. Voor mij persoonlijk betekent verlegenheid vooral een irritante verschijning in sociale situaties. Het is niet zo zeer de omgeving waar ik komt, maar meer de angst om te praten. Op dat moment weet ik bv. Niet meer wat ik moet zeggen. Domweg omdat ik bang bent voor de reactie van een ander. Ik heb altijd het gevoel ook dat ik bij alles wat ik zeg of doet dat dat verkeerd is. Natuurlijk weet ik ook wel dat ik niet zo negatief over mezelf moet denken en dat het alleen maar een gedachte is. Maar toch blijf ik altijd weer bang.

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autumn care of norfolk

So, with the new patch comes new talents. I looked at them last night, and was a bit overwhelmed. My warrior is fury-spec, and Iapos;ve been really looking forward to being able to dual-wield two-handed weapons for a long time. I looked at it, and it was just insane how much more damage I can do now The Armed to the Teeth talent, which can be used 3 times, gives you an extra attack point for every 180 points of armor that you have Yeah, that increased my AP by 200 points real quick.

But, the Titanapos;s Grip talent, which allows you to dual-wield two-handed weapons isnapos;t quite what I was hoping for. It also decreases your to-hit chance by 15. Ouch.

Right now I have some of the best one-handed swords in the game. And, it took me absolutely forever to farm and buy the mats to make them. I think what Iapos;ll do is wait until Iapos;m higher level to spend points for Titanapos;s Grip, then make level 80 epic two-handers. I really donapos;t want to go through the trouble to make swords at this point, then have those swords be obsolete once WOLK comes out.

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I got into a fight yesterday morning with my mother. It was a stupid fight and the thing that set it off was she couldnapos;t find a piece of paper that she needed. Then she wanted help cleaning up the kitchen, so I helped her with that. Well I was in the process of taking care of business in the kitchen with her and decided to do something with the trash and she got pissed off over who knows what and just lashed out at me.

Iapos;m always the outlet for every fucking thing that happens and Iapos;m getting sick and tired of it.

Well she was still pissed when we got to work.. So I got the shit jobs. I didnapos;t get a break all day long for eight fucking hours.. Except for my lunch break.

She knew that I needed time at work to do some of my homework.. And she allows me to do that. I have to do it at work, since when she comes home she wonapos;t fucking help me install the printer.. Iapos;m small and I canapos;t lift up the heavy thing and she can. Oh well fuck it.

Now that means I have to leave the house an hour early to get to the school to work on my homework today. Yeah, I have to do it at the last minute now, cause she worked me to the bone yesterday and I didnapos;t feel like doing it last night when I got off. Cause I was so damn tired.

Well that wasnapos;t the end of it. She basically gave me the cold shoulder the rest of the night.. And now she is gone.

She left to go out of town with some of her friends to go shopping or some shit like that.

I really just do not want to go to class today. I rather just stay at home.. On my day off and try to enjoy myself.

But thanks to all of her shit that I had to be put through.... My pinched nerve started to hurt me last night. It wasnapos;t a sharp pain like it was the other day, it was more like a throbbing faint pain that went on for half an hour. My pinched nerve is in my chest. I have had three attacks this month from it and last month I had three more.

I wish I could move out.. But I still donapos;t have enough money saved up to do that and well I donapos;t exactly have any friends either.

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